Oil finally reached $100 a barrel, albeit briefly, today, marking the first time in history that the black stuff had hit the century mark.
While the left wing blogosphere has been going ape shit over this latest “evidence” of Bush’s poor handling of the economy, those of us on the right have been quietly enjoying the show, knowing the real reason behind oil’s rise.
Some are saying that civil unrest in Kenya is causing oil to spike. Others blame the falling dollar against the Euro and Pound. Still others say that competition from emerging markets like China and India are driving the cost of oil up.
But they are all full of crap.
The real reason behind oil’s skyrocketing price is that it is all part of the Decider’s brilliant plan, the plan formerly known as Operation Iraqi Liberation, or O.I.L.
With oil at $100 a barrel, and Iraq sitting on the second largest oil reserves in the world behind Saudi Arabia, the people of Iraq have more of an incentive to let the surge work, and get rich off the Texas Tea sitting just beneath the sand.
The plan is magnificent in both its simplicity and elegance. As the Iraqis welcome our surging troops with candies and flowers, they are thinking ka-ching! Each Iraqi knows that our glorious Commander Guy is making them all rich. Since Saddam is gone, that money will go directly to the people, with Chevron, Exxon, British Petroleum, and Shell taking a small handling fee of about 98%.
Yes, those Iraqis are about to be rolling in it. With oil continuing to rise, it won’t be long before everyone in Iraq joins hands, sings Kumbaya, and buys Cadillacs, saving the American Auto Industry.
The Decider is about the smartest President ever!
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