Over the last couple of days I’ve been listening to a lot of talk radio, conservative talk radio. What else are you going to do on an island in the middle of the Pacific? Look, the choice on the dial was conservative talk and All Hawaiian All The Time. God, if I hear one more freakin’ ukulele, I think I am going to pull an Oedipus and poke out my ear drums. Note to Dennis Miller, I am taking all those ridiculous Sisyphus references as a personal challenge to see who can have more obtuse literary and cultural references in print. That’s one for me.

As I ran up and down the dial, the four hour time difference between Hawaii and home forced me to listen to personalities I would not normally pay the time of day. While I occasionally enjoy listening to Glenn Beck, who after all is only saying what we are thinking–you know how the country is being taken over by Negroes and how evil it is to provide health care to lazy undeserving children–I don’t usually listen to Michael Savage.

There is something about Michael Savage, which makes me uneasy. I’m not sure if it is rabid homophobia, which is meant to mask his own sexual predilections, or if it is his constant blabbering about plants. But this guy really makes feel nauseous.

If it’s not his blatant attacks on our beloved Commander Guy, it is his adoration of Mr. Magic Underpants. There is nothing about this guy which is right. While I appreciate his hatred for John McCain, I cannot abide by his terrible maligning of our genius Decider.

Today was the latest, and possibly worst, example of this putrid hatred for Dear Leader. He called George W. Bush, 43, Commander Guy, the Decider, a socialist! Now anyone who knows anything about socialism knows there is nothing social about Commander Guy, except for a brief history of diseases revolving around a couple of cat houses in New Orleans in the early 1970′s.

Not only that, but the man went on a long, one-hour tirade about dinosaurs and the different ages in which they “lived.” The man was practically indoctrinating children to the fable of evolution. Now I ask you, what kind of conservative believes in evolution? It’s pure fantasy like global warming, the big bang, objects falling at 32 ft/sec/sec.

How dare he! How very dare he!

Michael Savage is not a conservative. He is not a real right winger. He is just a closeted, hate-filled hack, who doesn’t love our beloved 43, 41, or even 40! If you lift his skirt, you will find a vicious liberal and an idiot in commentator’s clothing.