One of my spies in the Hillary Clinton campaign confirmed with me today that she will cease her bid for President of the United States effective Monday morning.
Another spy of mine in the Barack Obama campaign has hinted at a back door deal with Senator Clinton to place Hillary on his ticket as Vice President.
The Clinton campaign has been suffering in the past few weeks from fund raising problems, staffing issues, and delegate concerns. Several of Clinton’s super delegates have vowed to endorse McCain in protest. When informed that John McCain is running as a Republican, Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania vowed to endorse Lyndon Johnson.
Barack Obama lit one up and kicked back in celebration.
The pressure is now on John McCain to find a suitable running mate, one which will balance the ticket and woo voters away from the Dream Team Obama-Clinton ticket. My spy in the McCain camp indicates that since Condoleeza Rice is acting like a super bitch and not accepting his invitation to run, John McCain may offer the spot to Mr. Magic Underpants or Joe Lieberman. If Joe Lieberman accepts the slot, he is expected to become a Republican and complete his turn to the Dark Side of the Force.
My spy in the women’s bathroom on Capitol Hill verified with me that Nancy Pelosi is expected to bitch slap Joe in response.
My spy in the men’s bathroom on Capitol Hill told me that Senator Larry Craig is still trying to pick up ugly men for washroom sex.
The Blanca DeBree Blog is proud to have this exclusive. My spies indicate that all three campaigns will deny everything I have reported here until at least Monday in an effort to piss off and confuse the mainstream media.
Fox News will confirm everything I have stated on Bill O’Reilly tonight.
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