So my puki pal, Michelle Malkin, dragged me out to see a new movie with John and Joan Cusack. I thought it was worth a lark. Watching movies with the Cusack’s brings back fond memories of my childhood. We asked Ann Coulter along, but she said if she wanted to relive her childhood, she would stare at the jar they put her junk in when they removed it so many years ago and made her the woman–ahem–she is today.
I was told War, Inc. was a satire, a sendup of the War in Iraq. But I honesty didn’t get it. I found it to be a reasonable treatise of how a war could be waged by a corporation headed by the Vice President. It really didn’t seem all that funny to me. On the contrary, it gave me a lot of ideas of how we could improve the war, by getting rid of soldiers altogether, using Halliburton troops, and sell advertising on tanks.
The last time I had this much disatisfaction at the movies was during one of our many girl nights. Laura Ingraham came over and said we were going to watch a movie. For the next two hours she tried to shove a DVD into my VCR. I finally smacked the bitch over the head with a copy of Power to the People I was using to shimmy up the lopsided end of the couch.
After I finally wrestled the disc from Michelle, who was staring at the shiny side like some retarded minah bird, I placed the movie in the player and pressed play.
I went out into the kitchen to make some popcorn, you know the kind, the stuff with the pour on butter. Ann loves that stuff. She usually ends up with butter all over her. She then lets the dog lick off the excess. Sometimes I think she is purposely trying to be messy. You can’t tell me all the popcorn makes it up her hoo ha by accident.
When I came back in the room, I took my place on the couch and watched with the others. After about an hour, I screamed at Laura, “hey, I thought we were going to watch a movie. Why are we watching Fox News?”
Laura turned to me and said, “this is the movie. It’s called Network.”
I thought Faye Dunaway looked too good to be Laura.
But I digress.
The movie yesterday just didn’t seem all that funny to me. Even the scene, which I normally would find knee-slapping funny, where they shoot down a bunch of unarmed civilians, just wasn’t that humorous. Maybe I just don’t get the joke. You know, I would have thought they could have gotten a lot of material from Iraq. From what I hear–having never been there like most right wingers who talk on authority about the subject–it is a real blast. It’s so great that our troops keep getting themselves stop lossed just to keep going back.
And that is why the GI Bill is so evil. It would stop them from going time and time again, and make them take a break for an education. Don’t Americans understand that education is not for the masses, and certainly not for the troops. It is for those at the top, the ones who trick the rest of the schmucks into voting for school vouchers, which ruin their schools, but let us send our brats to private academies on their dime.
So all-in-all, the film was not all that good. Sure, it featured mercenaries and terrorists, bombs and amputees, and even a Dan Aykroyd-cum-Dick Cheney, sitting on a toilet, but it wasn’t as funny as the real thing.
You know, I may hate John McCain with all my passion, but at least I agree with him on one thing. I hope we are in Iraq for 100 years!
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