John McCain is showing some of the worst judgment since a bunch of Japanese admirals thought it would be a lark to bomb some American ships in Hawaii.
The Maverick, the War Hero, the Straight Talk Express himself has suspended his campaign today and wants to “postpone” the debate on Friday to address the economic crisis.
John, if they need or want you, they will send for you. Right now Washington needs the advice of saged economic advisors. If they need the advice of a crackpot know-nothing, they will certainly call on you.
McCain is being attacked by Obama as incapable of walking and chewing gum at the same time. Indeed, the President of the United States must be able to handle a myriad of crises at the same time, and without taking mid-day naps. Who the hell do you think you are, Reagan?
Some have offered to have Palin take his place in the debate. Others–mostly those who know Palin–have offered to sacrifice her to the Money God for better juju.
Now they want to “postpone” the Vice Presidential Debate, as well. And I was so looking forward to seeing Joe Biden mop the floor with that hockey mom’s hair.
John McCain even cancelled an appearance on Dave Letterman. Dave excoriated the septuagenarian for his ploy.
These little timeouts are going to cost McCain dearly. It appears that Obama and Ole Miss are planning to go through with the debate, with or without McCain. With McCain, it will just be an opportunity to see another young black guy beat up an old white guy for money–the only difference is instead of pocket change it is trillions of dollars. Without McCain, it will be a 90-minute infomercial for Barack Obama, who will walk America through the crisis, with his detailed plan for resolution.
Listen to me, you decrepit old dip shit, you want as much time as possible between the debates and the election. Both Obama and Biden are going to have you for lunch. They will enjoy a healthy post-debate bounce, while you will enjoy a post-debate dump–as long as Cindy doesn’t forget your Metamucil. You will need all the Spin Meisters you can muster to make it look like you didn’t suffer an aneurysm and that Palin didn’t flash her tits to take attention away from her stupid stare and dumb responses in the debates.
Are the rest of your so-called Republicans out there finally ready to accept the fact that we were taken to the cleaners with this dynamic duo of dunces? If you want any chance of keeping the White House this fall–and keeping Dick and George out of jail–you better get us two real candidates right now.
The polls are showing McCain falling faster than his wife’s tits or his lesbian daughter’s testicles. ABC now has him 9 points ahead of McCain in its latest poll. A single poll has McCain ahead, but to be fair, the Dyslexic Society of America has not been known for their polling efforts in the past.
Each time a new crisis dawns, McCain pulls some asinine trick to keep from having to address the actual issue. The other day he claimed he was washing his hair and couldn’t be bothered to answer questions on the mortgage meltdown. Note to John: YOU HAVE NO FUCKING HAIR.
And for God’s sake, stop sending Palin out to talk to people. Firstly, her voice is worse than a cross between Roseanne and Fran Drescher. Secondly, she is an idiot. Thirdly, she moves too fast for our sniper to target her. Put something in her coffee to slow her down so he has a clear shot. This isn’t as easy as shooting moose from an airplane, you know.
The days of the campaign are waning, and the great white haired hope is letting us down. Republicans are planning a Hail Mary Pass in the fourth quarter, hoping to block any rescue plan for Wall Street. The Democrats are sure to pump it full of all kinds of provisions to punish executives and to give aid to home owners. Voting against such a bill is political suicide in this climate.
I think it’s time to try the fake kidnapping or assassination attempt to rescue your asses. Only, in the case of McCain and Palin, can you make it real, please? Mike Huckabee has nothing to do, and is ready to take the reigns of the campaign if you only ask him. And for his number two? Jeb, of course!
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