Dear Mormons:
I wanted to write you to thank you for all of your work on behalf of the sanctity of marriage. Your countless efforts to protect traditional marriage will garner for you a saint hood and a place in Heaven.
That is if you weren’t Godless heathens destined for Hell. But what is a little blasphemy between friends?
I mean you guys have done an amazing job. Your work for Proposition 8 in California is just stunning. I mean considering the source, for a bunch of wife swapping, bigamist loons, I am really impressed.
By the way, do you know Chloë Sevigny? Is she just as big a bitch in person as she is on TV? Does she give head as good in person as she did on the big screen?
This whole fight for marriage has turned out to be an expensive one. I heard that it is expected to cost $60 million. I really want to thank you for spending this money on a worthy cause instead of something silly like feeding the poor or helping children. Oh, who are we kidding? You are too busy fucking children to be helping them.
Please keep up the good work. Marriage needs protection. And who better to protect it than bigamists who have the 26th worst divorce rate in the country? And remember, Jesus loves you. Oh, listen to me! Of course He doesn’t. You Satanist bastards!
Love,
Blanca
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