A lot of hay has been made over the soft bigotry of lowered expectations. Some conservatives, notably Kay and Pat Buchanon, have jumped to the defense of Sarah Palin, screaming for McCain to let Sarah be Sarah. Some have drudged up old video of her debate in Alaska in 2006, where she went up against an incumbent governor and appears to have held her own. Still others warn not to underestimate the governor from The Last Frontier. But most of these people are morons.
Here is why Sarah Palin has already lost the debate against Joe Biden and has basically tanked McCain’s already dismal chances at being Commander-in-Chief one last time before he drops dead, most likely sometime early next year.
Tina Fey’s impression of Palin is now more famous than Sarah’s own persona. While Kerry was dull and Gore was somnorific, the impressions of them done by commedians are forgetable. In fact, other than that guy from Mad TV, I can’t remember anyone doing either of these two.
Now flash back to Dana Carvy’s impression of Bush or Norm MacDonald’s Bob Dole. Their impressions of the candidates became more popular than the candidates themselves. For millions who hated both politicians, their Doppelgängers were delicious distractions.
Because it has been McCain who has censored the Wicked Ditz from the West, we have seen little of her actual interactions with the press. But we have all seen Fey’s dead-on head-on send-up of the little governor who couldn’t.
If you watch the little footage available of Palin before the rest of us in the other 49 far more important states got to see her, she looks poised, sounds coherent, and is obviously Palin before she became a Wasilla Stepford Wife–the original where the wives became robots, not the remake where, well I have no idea what the hell they were.
Just as Data from Star Trek could not form contractions, Palin’s android cannot talk without flattening her A’s more than the plains of the Northern Slope.
The Artificial Palin also has great difficulty accessing files from memory and on constructing coherent sentences. The last example we have of a similar model was Miss South Carolina, who was shortly returned to the factory for dismantling after her horrific performance on a geography question.
Palin will continue to perform as we have seen. She is not the Palin of 2006. After the Right Wing got ahold of her and exorcised her at her church, she became incapable of coherent thought. Sure, she was able to function with Sean Hannity on Fox News, but Sean probably faxed her the questions and answers ahead of time. When you see the Moose in the Headlights stare she gave Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric, you realize how truly lost Palin is on the worldwide stage.
Unless she manages a hit out of the park, Palin has lost. Her damaged image can only be repaired by such a stellar performance that millions say “my God, she is a fucking genius.”
Now just ask yourself: what kind of answers could she give at this point, which would make you say such a thing?
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