This week the Republicans were the brunt of all criticism for rolling out an eighteen-page budget complete with neither numbers nor graphs. But the media has been too harsh on the leadership of the party. Their ridicule is misguided and is another example of how the liberal media is too quick to attack Republicans, even though there has been ample evidence for the last eight years that we Republicans are superior in every way.
When they originally introduced their budget through internal communications, the de facto leaders of the party, Sarah Palin and Michael Steele, were very confused about the content and requested clarification.
Reportedly Palin asked what all the strange characters were all over the budget, usually arranged in tables with pretty pictures looking like multi-colored pies. A sixth grader was employed to explain numbers and graphs to the Governor of Alaska. Sarah was told that these numbers represent quantities of objects, whether they be concrete, abstract, theoretical, or imaginary.
When the Governor still looked confused, someone offered an example. The unknown dark figure resembling M. Night Shyamalyan shouted out 6,000 from the back of the room. Palin’s ears perked up and said, oh like the age of the earth? The figure–who appeared out of place without his 7-11 uniform–then said, 6,000,000. Palin then said, oh, like the number of Jews not killed in the imaginary Holocaust?
She later asked what the strange symbol was, which looked like a capital ‘S’ with a vertical line through it. A third grader told her this was the symbol of the dollar, which is the legal tender of the United States. The Governor appeared very concerned. She then whispered to Michael Steele that her state hadn’t been using dollars for years. She said it was a bitch making a deposit in a Wasilla bank using seal skins and walrus tusks.
Michael Steele was confused about the whole presentation of the budget. He asked for assistance in accessing the information in the strange rectangular shape handed to him. He was told that the object was a book, and that you turn the pages by moving them from left to right. The first grader then demonstrated the use of a book to the pigmentally-challenged token from Maryland.
After the confusion with the two brain trusts of the Republican Party, John Boehner decided to remove all numbers and graphs from the budget and trimmed it down to eighteen pages so both Michael Steele and Sarah Palin could talk about it authoritatively. Well, not so much authorititatively as not so completely dumb founded that people would be reminded why both of these twits had their asses handed to them in elections.
So the media should not criticize the Boehner and the Republicans for their budget lite. Just remember, sometimes less is more.
Here’s to 2012, and a Palin-Steele ticket. I’m sorry, I have to run to the bathroom now so I can vomit.
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