Dear Colonel Peters,
I wanted to write you to tell you how much I agree with and support your opinion that Taliban should kill captured United States Army solider PFC Bowe Bergdahl. You are quite correct, that boy had it coming more than a 15-year-old girl who gets gang raped at a church social.
Any solider who lets himself get captured has no business being in the United States military–the finest photo op the world has ever seen. I mean just look at this guy, he’s eating, talking, and even has a spiffy haircut. This guy is collecting a paycheck without having to do any of the killin’ and a bombin’ we all enjoy so much as Republicans. He’s lazier than a welfare mom trying to scrape by on food stamps and unemployment.
But we shouldn’t stop there. Not only are captured soldiers guilty of dereliction of duty and should face a firing squad–hopefully by the enemy to save time and money–but soldiers who allow themselves to be wounded are also prime candidates for capital punishment. And we really wouldn’t have to waste any time having them medivaced off the battlefield. We could just leave them behind for the enemy to pick off, one at a time.
Just think of all the money we’d save and all the unit cohesion we’d create. If every soldier’s too scared of being wounded and left behind to fend for himself, he will fight twice as hard and make sure he never gets shot!
Yes, Colonel, you are not only an all -American hero, but you are the finest example of what we Republicans have become and a shining symbol of the Fox News Network. I would like to personally arrange a 21-gun salute to you, sir.
I only have one question.
How tall are you, so we know how high to aim.
Sincerely,
Blanca
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