Normally Republicans like me are all in favor of eugenics.  There is nothing like thinning the herd to get rid of some of those less desirables, like folks who are melatonin challenged or a little light in the loafers.

But Obama has taken the idea of eugenics too far.  His plan to provide universal healthcare for Americans will lead to healthcare rationing and ultimately euthanasia.

Not that I wouldn’t mind euthanizing some old people, especially Mrs. Nessbaum from next door.  That bitch has been working my nerves like a Republican senator toe taps in an airport men’s room.

But as long as I can use the fear of croaking five minutes early to motivate the old folks to vote against the black guy, I will take what I can get.  It is just inspirational to see all those gray-haired folks protest government-provided healthcare.  It just fills me with pride as a Republican.  Getting old folks who would be dead without Medicare to protest healthcare is the greatest coup since we all clamored in Miami to stop counting votes.

And having the world’s 16th richest man organizing the “grassroots” protests against healthcare warms my cockles, and you thought girls didn’t have cockles.  And these suckers, I mean voters, who are protesting policies, which will benefit them, in favor of the ultra rich health industry, well that is just priceless.  It is just about the best time ever to be a Republican.

If we can keep up the good work, we will derail healthcare reform, just like we did back in the early 90′s.  Just keep repeating the mantra that the private sector is best.  Just think of Carley Simon’s Nobody Does It Better.  Just look how much better healthcare has gotten over the past 15 or more years, since we shot down healthcare.  No country on earth has better healthcare, except:

France

Italy

San Marino

Andorra

Malta

Singapore

Spain

Oman

Austria

Japan

Norway

Portugal

Monaco

Greece

Iceland

Luxembourg

Netherlands

United Kingdom

Ireland

Switzerland

Belgium

Columbia

Sweden

Cyprus

Germany

Saudi Arabia

United Arab Emirates

Israel

Morocco

Canada

Finland

Australia

Chile

Denmark

Dominica

Costa Rica

Wow!  We’re number 37!

No one wants the kind of healthcare system Canada or England has.  That would be a nightmare.  Just ask the Canadians.  Go ahead.  They hate it.  Just don’t ask any Canadians actually living in Canada.  Seems the kanucks actually living in the Great White North are under the delusion that they really like having healthcare.

Go figure.

But as long as we keep up the pressure with phony protests using people who suck off Uncle Sam’s tit, we can stop this social injustice.

After all universal healthcare is like fighting for equality.  And equality is just so un American.

And nothing is less Christian than making sure the least among us is cared for.  It’s just Communist to say from each according to his abilities to each according to his needs.

Remember, healthcare makes Baby Jesus cry.