We Republicans have a lot to contend with. Between the FEMA re-education camps, Obama’s death panels killing grandma, and the country becoming Communist/Nazi/Socialist overnight, we really can’t pay attention to everything going on. We have to be smarter. We have to focus. We have to choose our battles wisely.
A spotlight is now being cast on two states: Maine and Washington. Proposition 1 in Maine is attempting to overturn gay marriage. Referendum 71 in Washington is trying to stop Everything but Marriage. Both fights are worthy of our attention in any normal year. But this is not a normal year.
Debates are raging in the House and Senate over competing bills, which would reform healthcare, bringing a public option, strong regulation, and employer mandates. Democrats are resurrecting regulation of the banking and financial sectors in an attempt to stabilize the battered industry. And Obama is pushing green energy and smart technologies, which threaten to hit oil companies in their bottom lines.
There is talk about overturning Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, putting an end to throwing perfectly good soldiers out of the military for their nocturnal activities. Chaos will ensue, as our fighting forces are kept battle ready by retaining highly trained and skilled individuals instead of punitively and capriciously dismissing them for traits, which in no way impede their ability to serve.
The Defense of Marriage Act is en endangered species as well. Several Democrats have signed on to a bill, which would repeal the controversial law banning states from recognizing gay marriage and domestic partnerships. Couples will enjoy equal rights instead of being singled out in what is agreed to be an unconstitutional law.
And Democrats want to take away my right to buy 30 guns without a background check, carry them around school yards and bars fully loaded, and masturbating with them in front of kindergartners.
With all this going on, we really can’t be bothered with a couple of homos getting hitched in a handful of states we really don’t care about anyway. And let’s face it, even if we do win, it’s not like it will make a difference, anyway.
Referendum 71 has little chance of passing. The folks who gathered the signatures almost didn’t get enough to even put the 34-page question on the ballot. And some people argue they really didn’t get enough signatures. Many signatures were accepted, even though they could not be validated or did not have the required statements on the volumes. If the Secretary of State, Sam Reed, of Washington weren’t in our back pocket, this Hail Mary Pass would never have made it this far. In between validating questions for the election, Sam Reed spends his time raising one hand to Jesus while feverishly masturbating with other over an open Bible.
And even if we could trick enough people into voting for this law, the wording is so convoluted that most of them will mistakenly vote for Everything but Marriage, because we have gutted the education system and still permit brain dead people to vote.
This referendum doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of passing. Similar measures in states far more conservative than Washington have failed over the years. And even those, which did pass were eventually overturned several years later.
Proposition 1’s future is also quite bleak. In 1999, the Maine State Legislature passed a non discrimination bill to protect gays and lesbians. In 2000, it was overturned by popular vote. It returned in 2002, and has been on the books ever since. Even if Proposition 1 successfully overturns gay marriage, it will most likely return within five years, because of pressure from neighboring states. It will be next to impossible to overturn the second time around, after folks come to realize that gay marriage has done nothing but guaranteed equal rights.
But in the meantime we waste precious resources on these pointless battles. We keep two guys from getting hitched, and meanwhile we are distracted as the Muslims take over and Acorn turns Nazis loose on school children to indoctrinate them and force them all to have gay abortions.
It’s time to get smart.
For every Taily Oritz out there, there are hundreds of what some would call rational folks supporting Obama’s socialist agenda to bring universal healthcare, unions, and better government oversight to the nation. We just can’t spend scarce dollars on this gay crap anymore.
And you know none of us in the Republican Party really gives a shit about gay marriage anyway. If we really did, don’t you think we would have locked up Mary Cheney or any number of the prominent gay Republican politicians? This is just a wedge issue we use to get stupid people to vote against universal healthcare, unions, and better government regulation.
So let’s just throw our hands in the air and call it a day, shall we? Let’s focus on what is really important to Americans: keeping insurance CEO’s fat and rich. Let’s focus our energies on keeping bankers from having to play by the rules. Let’s focus our attention on cutting taxes for the richest 1% so they can continue to be the richest 1%.
So let the homos get married. Who cares, as long those of us at the top get to keep our millions. Who cares, as long as we get to keep our palatial estates. Who cares, as long as we get to keep making speeches on balconies imploring the descamisados to continue to support our lavish lifestyles as they die hungry in the streets.
¡No llores por mi Argentina!
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