In just two days, the nation goes to the polls to elect people to some of the most important political positions in the country, like Drain Commissioner, Alderman, or Freeholder. They will also vote on important questions, like if the township should move the garbage cans from the side of the town hall to the rear of the town hall. There will be hundreds if not many hundreds of people voting. Welcome to the yawn fest, which is an off year election.
Except this year a little treachery by our Kenyan-born President has resulted in a terrible quandary in a part of New York where various fauna far outnumber the local populace. The 23rd Congressional District used to be home to moderate Republican John M. McHugh, before Barack “Commie” Obama appointed him as Secretary of the Army. Suddenly a district was in play, which had been held by a Republican since 1993. For 16 years the seat had been held by two moderate Republicans. Before that, it was held by Democrats dating back to 1979.
But this year, the moderate in the race, the Republican, Dierdre “Dede” Scozzafava, was forced to suspend her campaign when the Party abandoned her for a much more conservative Doug Hoffman. A seat which was almost guaranteed to go to either a Republican or a Conservative party candidate, now appears to be in more jeopardy than ever.
No matter how this comes down, it spells trouble for the Party.
If the Democrat Bill Owens win, it will show that the conservative wing of the party does not have enough staying power to carry the day, and a horrific power struggle will begin to rip the party apart. On the other hand, if the Conservative Doug Hoffman wins, it will prove that Conservatives have enough staying power to carry the day, and a horrific power struggle will begin to rip the party apart.
More important is how the results of this one election will portend for the 2010 mid-term elections. If Owens wins, the Republican party will be tempted to run more liberal candidates, forcing more conservatives to run as third party candidates, splitting the vote, and leading to more Democratic victories. If Hoffman wins, the Republican party will be tempted to run more conservative candidates, forcing more moderates to run as third party candidates, splitting the vote, and leading to more Democratic victories.
Party unity is dying faster than a Levi Johnston erection when faced with the prospect that a bunch of homos are planning to buy the December issue of Playgirl to ogle at his member.
Next Tuesday will be Judgment Day. No matter what happens Republicans are screwed. The real winner this week will not be some schmuck from upstate New York, or the political pundits, or even the party. The real winner will either be Sarah Palin, for backing Hoffman, or Newt Gingrich for backing Scozzafava.
It looks like it is going to be fun watching the fallout.
If I weren’t a Republican and crying in my martini.
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Think positive Blanca! We can always hope for a close vote, maybe close enough to call for a recount that drags on and on; then maybe some legal challenge, you know long enough for us to hear from Palin and Gingrich every night for a few months!
Doug Hoffman is the male twin of Sarah Palin: he’s a completely uninformed conservative dolt.