My gay assistant, Pek Pek Supot, came to me tonight and confided in me a great secret. He told me confidentially, on condition of anonymity, a great sin he says he committed.
Pek Pek Supot was in tears, screaming “mea culpa,” and hitting himself like a Catholic sadomasochist–look at me, pushing an oxymoron. Actually, I think Rush Limbaugh is an oxymoron.
I asked what he could have possibly done to illicit such a guilty response. As I cupped his little Pinoy face, Pek Pek, tears streaming down his face, said he had had sex with Scott Brown, the Republican candidate for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat.
Pek Pek began to recount the night he met Brown, moments after his Cosmo centerfold shoot. Brown came on to Pek Pek, who at the time as a new immigrant, fresh off the boat, and not street wise. Well, truth be told, he was a whore the minute he arrived on America’s shores. But Brown seduced my poor little Pek Pek, and forced him into kinky sex.
When I realized the Great White Hope in Massachusetts was a flaming homo, I jumped into action. I sat right down and began to write blog.
I urge all my Republican friends in Massachusetts tomorrow to not vote. A vote for Scott Brown is a vote for a rabid homo.
And to all my independent friends in the Bay State, I beg you to vote for Coakley, a heterosexual who doesn’t rape my Filipino assistants.
My puki pals Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter urge you to vote for the straight gal tomorrow.
Vote Coakley.
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