Citing anonymous government officials, the Journal reported that the hackers were connected to a Russian cyber gang. Two other computer systems, at least one of connected to a U.S. government agency, were also attacked.

Citigroup denied the report. “We had no breach of the system and there were no losses, no customer losses, no bank losses,” said Joe Petro, managing director of Citigroup’s Security and Investigative services. “Any allegation that the FBI is working a case at Citigroup involving tens of millions of losses is just not true.”

The Journal reported that the attack on Citigroup’s Citibank subsidiary was detected over the summer, although it may have occurred up to one year earlier. The FBI, the National Security Agency, the Homeland Security Department and Citigroup worked together to investigate the attack.

Cyber crime is of increasing concern to businesses and the federal government, with President Barack Obama calling it one of the “most serious economic and national security challenges we face as a nation.”

Obama is expected on Tuesday to announce the appointment of Howard A. Schmidt, a former eBay and Microsoft executive, as the government’s cyber security coordinator.

As many as 2 million homeowners may exercise an option called default in the coming months. They are taking stock of their portfolios and weighing the pros and cons and calling it quits, leaving the banks with excess inventory, which is essentially worthless, further driving down prices and forcing other homeowners to walk away when the underwater homes have no hope of ever regaining value.

While there are some who say that it is imoral to walk away from debt, a growing number of once responsible borrowers are finding the hidden joy of being a dead beat. The Wall Street bailouts and IRS winfalls for banks like Citicorp have raised tempers and the growing resentment of fat cats is creating a tea party of tsunami proportions. Although this rebellion is a quite one, taking place in living rooms across the nation, it is still no less potent.

If corporations are allowed to walk away from obligations like pensions, why shouldn’t we walk away from our useless debt? Hand over the keys and bid a fond farewell to your home so underwater it feels like you’re living at the bottom of the Marianas Trench. It is neither immoral nor wrong. It is business.

In the coming years banks holding vast real estate portfolios will be faced with be some very painful math. They could wait the fifty years or more it will take to get a return on the investment, or they could raze entire neighborhoods, reducing inventory, and thereby raising home prices.

But until then, there are many people in this country who will reap the benefits of the collective anger at those who got us into this mess.

If you still have good credit, you could play a shell game, which is so deliciously melevolent, you will feel like the financial equivalent of the Marquis de Sade. If you are single but in a long term relationship, you can take advantage of scheme. Even if you are not, you could use friends and family to accomplish this economic hat trick.

First, stop paying your mortgage. Then inform the bank you cannot and will not pay any longer. Put the bank on notice, so they wake up and realize the danger they face.

Second, “reluctantly” agree to a short sale. Tell them you will try to locate a buyer, but you are hesitant.

Third, have your cohort in this war make an offer on your distressed property. Feel free to lowball. Banks will take what they can at this point.

Fourth, complete the sale, pay in cash.

Fifth, agree to pay “rent” to your partner. As part of your “lease” agree that all “rent” paid to the “homeowner” will go toward the purchase of the home.

After a few years of paying rent, have your partner sign over the deed to you. You get your home back, and you never had to move. Plus all that useless debt is gone, and if and when prices recover, you will have made a profit.

Is it illegal? How the hell should I know? Is collapsing a global economy and then holding elected officials hostage to get a tax-payer-funded bailout legal? Oddly enough, it seems it is. So I think this scheme is on the up and up.

And here’s the sweetest and most delicious part. For all of you gay couples out there who can’t get married because the good folks of states like Michigan, Ohio, Florida, and Texas said you couldn’t, you can full advantage of this little scheme. Since your relationship is not recognized by the state, your partner might as well be a perfect stranger. In this case, after a couple of years no transfer of deed is required. You just put your partner’s name on the title. It’s like a giant middle finger to those who would deny you your rights.

So there it is. Do what you will with it. But like Tiger Woods, just do it.

These people couldn’t be more wrong. First, who do you think you are? You have made a solemn pledge to pay a mortgage, and to walk away from that promise is not only irresponsible, it is morally reprehensible.

It’s not like these people are millionaire bankers or company executives, who can honestly break promises, walk away from pension obligations and raid corporate coffers in order to pay millions in bonuses baked by American taxpayers for a job not done.

You are the so-called “little guy,” and if you haven’t figured it out yet, you are fucked more than a Missouri Republican leader’s mistress when he forgets the safety word. You have no rights. You have to keep paying, no matter how painful, because you signed a piece of paper. And we all know how important paper is. Contracts are the basis of our economy. If we don’t honor them, then what will become of our society.

It’s not like you are Lou Dobbs, who can just be released from his contract when it’s no longer fun brown bashing on CNN. It’s not like you are Miss California, who can just conveniently forget her compact and wing it as she goes about doing shit expressly forbidden in her contract. You know you don’t have the luxury of just giving the Donald a blow job to get an early no-fault release. And it’s not like you are Sarah Palin, who can walk away from a promise to serve the people of Alaska in order to run around the country on a book tour.

No, you must honor your commitment to the very same people who got you into this mess in the first place. To saddle them with a worthless property like they have done to you is just plain wrong. It’s just not Christian.

Because let’s face it, Jesus was a capitalist, and a supply-side capitalist at that. He never asked you to look out for the little guy. He never blessed the meek or said that they would inherit the earth or anything like that. And I believe he said rich men would get into heaven with camels and needle eyes. At least that is what I read in my latest copy of the Conservative Bible.

So all you dead beats hear me now. You must continue to pay. Because if you just walk away, what will happen to all those fat cats on Wall Street? Can you look them in the eye and tell them that they will have to get their millions in bonuses from taxpayers instead of ripping it off from excessive fees and penalties?

I just don’t think you could do that.

Won’t someone think of the millionaires?

The number of jobs lost also fell to 247,000 in July to a level not seen since August 2008.

The good news sent the stock market higher for the first time in several sessions.

All of this good news has made many Republicans depressed, and a suicide watch has been placed on Michelle Bachmann and Virginia Foxx.

But there was a silver lining to all this “good” news.  It seems that the number of chronically unemployed Americans rose to 5 million, indicating that there is still a lot of pain for the bastards in states like Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan, Florida, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico, Indiana, Iowa, North Carolina, and Virginia.  Maybe as they are starving they might remember this is what you get when you turn on your friends in the Republican party.  Maybe now you will consider voting for Mike Huckabee in 2012.

Just remember all the good things the Republicans brought you as you enjoy your hope and change–things like George W. Bush, Sarah Palin, and Michael Steele.

Blanca’s feeling a bit blue now.  She needs a drink.  Better make it a double.

Well tax cuts are the best way to grow the economy, shrink the deficit, and balance the budget.

It’s called faith-based economics.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

For years our country has been struggling against unemployment. Although other nations have much higher joblessness–Iraq, Gaza, and Zimbabwe pop to mind–we still are looking at more than 7% unemployment nationally, and now more than 10% in Michigan. Of course, living next to the Wolverine State, Blanca knows how much of a cesspool Michigan really is. Most of Wisconsin dumps their trash in Lakes Superior and Michigan so the flotsam can float underneath the Mackinac Bridge on its way past Alpena down through the Detroit River, going by Toledo on its way to the Saint Lawrence Seaway to piss off the French Canadians. After all, we Americans owe it to Commander Guy to stick it to the French part of the Quebecois at the very least.

But our nation has known many times when employment was full, when it was workers, not jobs, which were scarce. Such times as World War II, World War I, and a very lucrative time–at least for my family–which came to a rather uneventful end in 1865.

We can return to those heady times of yesteryear with full employment if we only follow Blanca’s simple plan: repeal the Thirteenth Amendment.

Immediately we would take almost all of the unemployed and put them to work–for nothing! Just think of the productivity to cost ratio! Immediately the indolent of our society would snap to it. We could even bring back the whip! My God, right now I can hear the whole “My name is Kunta Kinte, my name is Kunta Kinte, my name is Toby” thing in my head. And as an added bonus, all of those kinky, closeted Republicans will finally be able to work out their S&M fantasies. Finally Senator Vitter won’t have to rely on diapers to get his Cajun rocks off.

We will reserve places for all of our minorities in this new work force. Blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Jews, Muslims, even Gays and Women will be automatically enrolled in this new army of workers. But of course, we will allow those who can buy their own freedom to work with the rest of us white, Christian, straight normal people. Just think Chicken George or Condi Rice.

And Blanca won’t have to stoop to do her own yard work or driving. With my new chauffeur, Jose the Pantless driving me around town, I will be free to pursue my two favorite past times: reading, and performing oral sex on a half naked Mexican slave. Olé!

So write your Representative and Senators today, and demand that the United States undo this terrible injustice, and return our nation to solvency and full employment. And then find yourself your own slave, and ride your way to easy street. And when I say ride, Blanca means ride him like a wild bronco: bare back and with spurs!

The stock market fell 33.8% in 2008, wiping out $6.9 trillion of assets. Overall, the economy broke many records in 2008, all of them bad.

Consumer confidence hit an all-time low in December at 38, lower than any time since the index was first compiled in 1967.

Oil hit a record price of $147.50 in the summer, before tumbling to less than $40 in December.

Housing prices fell lower than in more than 20 to 30 years, depending on the market.

Unemployment was the worst in 26 or 35 years, depending on which standard you use.

All in all, 2008 was the worst economic crisis since the 1930’s.

And it is all Barack Obama’s fault.

Bullshit.

Blanca may not know the hour or the minute, but she knows the number. That number is approximately 7000. That is half what the market was at its peak just one year ago. It also represents a fitting close to the bestest President ever.

The markets will not recover in time for January 21, 2009. Leaving President Bush with a sad legacy. He will be the first President since Herbert Hoover to leave office with a stock market lower than when he began.

Sure, President Bush Jr. will have another legacy, one much more important. He has done more to advance the plight of the black people than any other person since Lincoln. Sure, I can hear you say now “what about the millions living in poverty or behind bars?” Well, they don’t count. If Florida 2000 taught us anything is that poor people don’t know how to vote and once you have been in prison, we can take away your constitutional right to vote.

This won’t change until the Supreme Court changes. The last time they visited the issue was 2005, when they decided to pass without comment. The next President will have a chance to change this–or as in the case of McCain, do nothing about it.

No, I am talking about the black people who count: the rich and powerful. Since taking office, George W. Bush has given two black people the chance to be Secretary of State. Sure, the other 39 million will just have to wait to be heard–or at the very least not ignored to death like the thousands in New Orleans. And Bush will have one final legacy of great importance. Due to his brilliant stewardship of the economy and foreign policy, we will have our first black President next year. Good going Mr. President! That makes W. the Branch Rickey of the 21st century!

This week we will have the next and final Presidential debate between John McCain and Barack Obama. McCain hinted last week that he is going to go negative at the last debate, that he is going to take the Ayers issue to Obama, face to face. But then a funny thing happened, he started to pull back his nasty crowds, much to the chagrin of the nasty people in his nasty crowds. He may be the first person booed for actually being decent.

I don’t think John McCain will go negative. He has too much to lose. He knows his chances are slim to nil, and that at this point he is fighting for his legacy, much like that other lovable loser currently sitting at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Just like Hillary Clinton, when push comes to shove, he will shake hands and go back to one of his nine homes in one of his 13 cars and retire.

How low will his standing in the polls go? How low will the stock market go? Just ask yourself how low the approvals of Bush have gone, and you will have your answer.

Somewhere between 6000 and 7000 is the bottom of this Bear Market. John McCain will get most likely 45% of the popular vote in November. George W. Bush will leave office with an approval of about 15%.

Payback is a bitch in stilettos doing the tarantella on your back. Feel the burn.

Many Americans wondered by Daddy Bush and Jr. had such disparate political outcomes during their bid for second terms. It was the economy, stupid, to take a line from Clinton.

Senior presented the American public with a shriveling economy à la George Costanza after a dip in a chilly swimming pool. Junior scared the shit of us and said if we didn’t vote for him and Darth Cheney the terrorists would attack us and Baby Jesus would be beheaded by Hezbollah. And even though the economy wasn’t in the greatest of shape, just enough Americans thought it was, or at least were so scared, sitting on the toilet with explosive diarrhea, that they didn’t notice economic prosperity slip away.

So with pocket book issues, if you can proclaim that you are better off today than you were four years ago, you will most likely vote for the party in power.

But this is not the only index used to determine how well a party in power will fare in an election. There are indexes, which measure inflation, energy prices, the stock market, housing prices, even the cost of a Big Mac. But until now, there has not been an index which has cut to the heart of the matter and reduced all these wonky numbers to a real, tangible, measurable item.

So I would like to create a new and more realistic index, which more accurately captures the economic pulse of the nation. Introducing the Blanca DeBree Fat Index.

It works simply. Am I fatter now than I was eight years ago? Yes. Very much so. And why? Because food is plentiful. I have lots of money. And I can afford fancy things like prime rib. In fact I eat at Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse every night. And it’s not just because they are a right wing company, which supports Sean Hannity and has struggled to repeal the thirteenth amendment so they don’t have to pay their staff. No, I eat there because it is exorbitantly expensive, and I am rich.

Over the past eight years I have seen my bank account, as well as my waist, balloon just like the federal deficit. And why not? I started out the Bush II Presidency with wads of cash–and fat–and after eight years of Commander Guy’s brilliant leadership, I am richer and fatter than ever!

Sure, I know there are folks out there who struggle to pay their bills, fill their gas tanks, and put food on the table, but who cares about them! If they were stupid enough to vote for someone who wasn’t going to help them, but was going to enrich his daddy’s friends, they deserve to starve like the pitiful vermin they are.

Let them eat cake! Oh, I forgot, they can’t afford it, because wheat is up more than 30% along with eggs, milk, and butter. Oh well, I can afford it. Add another ten pounds to the index, boys. This bitch is expanding like Nazi Germany in 1939!

In the past eight years I have packed on the pounds, going up ten dress sizes and lost more panties up my fat-encrusted hoo ha than I care to remember. I have emptied the septic tank three times as often as under Clinton, so you know times are good!

So even though I hate John McCain, I must support whomever my party finally chooses to run against the black guy. Because quite honestly, I am much better off today than I was eight years ago. At least 100 pounds better off.

While the left wing blogosphere has been going ape shit over this latest “evidence” of Bush’s poor handling of the economy, those of us on the right have been quietly enjoying the show, knowing the real reason behind oil’s rise.

Some are saying that civil unrest in Kenya is causing oil to spike. Others blame the falling dollar against the Euro and Pound. Still others say that competition from emerging markets like China and India are driving the cost of oil up.

But they are all full of crap.

The real reason behind oil’s skyrocketing price is that it is all part of the Decider’s brilliant plan, the plan formerly known as Operation Iraqi Liberation, or O.I.L.

With oil at $100 a barrel, and Iraq sitting on the second largest oil reserves in the world behind Saudi Arabia, the people of Iraq have more of an incentive to let the surge work, and get rich off the Texas Tea sitting just beneath the sand.

The plan is magnificent in both its simplicity and elegance. As the Iraqis welcome our surging troops with candies and flowers, they are thinking ka-ching! Each Iraqi knows that our glorious Commander Guy is making them all rich. Since Saddam is gone, that money will go directly to the people, with Chevron, Exxon, British Petroleum, and Shell taking a small handling fee of about 98%.

Yes, those Iraqis are about to be rolling in it. With oil continuing to rise, it won’t be long before everyone in Iraq joins hands, sings Kumbaya, and buys Cadillacs, saving the American Auto Industry.

The Decider is about the smartest President ever!