After a six-year sinful relationship, Harry the gay penguin has left Pepper the other gay penguin for another penguin, a chick called Linda. Many people scoffed at Blanca when she insisted the ornithologists at the San Francisco Zoo send Harry to Truth Ministry to mend his evil ways. Now it looks [...]
Archive for the ‘Green’ Category
An Open Letter to Representative Virginia Foxx, Republican from the Fifth Congressional District of North Carolina
Dear Representative Foxx: Let me be the first to thank you for the courage you showed standing in the well of the House and deriding the evil Hate Crimes Legislation. It must be very hard to stand up for your convictions, no matter how insane or absurd. I thought Michelle Bachmann was a tough [...[...]
The Swedes Are Destroying the Fabric of Society
Sweden became the fifth European nation to permit gay marriage this week, ripping another hole in the delicate fabric of society. Of course in Sweden, the fabric of society comes unassembled, in a flat carton, complete with a small useless hex wrench and a set of instructions with pictures resembli[...]
Stop a Homo, Save a Tree
The fabuluous Prada-bedecked Pope, Benedict XVI, compared the mission to save the world from homos to the effort to save the endangered rain forests. This pronouncement came as a bit of a shock to the lesbian community, who single-handedly have been saving the rain forest with their earthy crunchy [...]
How Can You Be Afraid of Anything Called “Fay?”
Tropical Storm Fay is sending Floridians scrambling as it sets a bulls eye on the Sunshine State. Leaving aside all of those silly arguments the liberals use about global warming making more and stronger hurricanes, and ignoring the fact that God uses hurricanes to kill Cubans because they are Commi[...]
It’s All in Your Head
Phil Gramm, the economic guru behind the John McCain campaign and Sexiest Conservative Newcomer 1979, has boiled down the current economic conditions to a state of high anxiety and paranoia. Finally, there is something on which I completely agree with the McCain campaign. Leave it to a brilliant eco[...]
Open Letter to Mike Huckabee
The Honorable Mike Huckabee Dear Mr. Huckabee: As a woman of faith and woman of size I believe in only the right, moral things in life. As a man of faith and a former man of size, I am sure you can relate. Our country and party is currently at a crossroads. Due to events [...][...]
