It is time to take a look at those predictions and see how close she was.

First, let me remind you of those predictions:

• Hillary Clinton will not get the Democratic nomination.
• Rudy Giuliani will not get the Republican nomination.
• There will be a walkout of delegates at the Republican National Convention because of the choice of nominee.
• A third party candidate will arise from this walkout.
• At least one athlete will die at the Summer Olympics due to either air pollution or lead poisoning.
• Mike Huckabee will shoot at least one reporter during a press conference.
• Fred Thompson will finally completely decompose, like those creepy scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark or Poltergeist.
• Mike Huckabee will choose Joe Lieberman as his running mate.
• Joe Lieberman will renounce Judaism and become a Baptist.
• Bill O’Reilly will suffer a major aneurysm on the air while arguing with a secular progressive.
• Rupert Murdoch will die after the option on his contract with Mephistopheles is called.
• The country will finally realize what an amazing President Commander Guy is, and will repeal the 22nd Amendment.
• Pigs will fly. Literally. United Airlines will fly pigs coach class in an attempt to compete with Southwest Airlines. It will fail miserably.’

OK, so how did I do? Well, it appears that I hit the first two right on the nose. Good for me. As for the next one, I had high hopes that the PUMA’s would have at least given me a walkout in Denver, but then it all turned out to be a Fox News fantasy, and in the end everyone came together and gave Obama a big victory.

For the next six, I was way off. As for number seven, all I can say is: how can you tell Bill O’Reilly isn’t having an aneurysm when talking to a secular progressive?

Eight and nine were a wash, as well. As for number ten, I ask again: how can you tell those flying on Southwest aren’t pigs?

So I give myself about a 25 – 35% accuracy for my predictions, which seems to make me more affective than the CIA leading up to 9/11 or the White House leading up to the Iraq Invasion of 2003. Pretty damn good for a Republican, if I must say so myself.

Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that either Senators McCain’s or Obama’s financial rescue plan is good. Of course Obama’s helps the vast majority–about 95%–of the population, but he seems to be ignoring the most important 1%. My 1%. That top 1%. It seems that no one is speaking for me this year, including McCain, who has thrown our beloved Commander Guy under the bus so many times, that Dear Leader can’t tell the bruises caused by a drunken rage from the tire marks. I weep for him.

No, this year I am voting straight Democrat, because I worry about how this election is going to affect me, how I am going to pay the bills, how I can continue to afford my male gigolos and masseurs in a recession.

You have to remain topical. You have to be fresh. You need to be current in order to survive as a political pundit. Look at my gal pal, Ann Coulter. That bitch hasn’t worked in over a year. She has been reduced to giving political rants at strip mall ribbon cuttings. No one is listening to her anymore. And why? Times are a changing. God, there is that word again!

Look, McCain is going to lose. He is going to lose big. Right now RealClearPolitics.com has the Illinois Senator winning Colorado, Florida, Missouri, Nevada, North Carolina, and Virginia. I still think Indiana, Georgia, Montana, North Dakota, and West Virginia could turn blue in 21 days. At this point it’s every fat bitch for herself.

There are reports that Palin had her house built for free by the contractor who built the Wasilla sports arena. I know, I had no idea they had sports in Alaska. I thought it was all moose raping and seal tossing. You know sometime I will have to visit that state to see what all the fuss is about. I just don’t know how to book first class on a dog sled.

And the abuses of power just keep rolling in from the Mavricky Lady. It appears religious appearances were at the expense of the Alaskan taxpayers–what little taxes the ultimate welfare state actually pays. With Mavericks like this, who needs corruption?

The Democrats are going to win more seats in the House. Conservative estimates have it at 30. I think it will be 50. They will win a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate, and that is without our favorite Jew, Joe Lieberman. With all the retirements this year, it seems almost certain now as the economic meltdown continues that we will be out in the cold in 2009.

The next election in 2010 will probably bring another flurry of retirements from Republicans, not wishing to spend their waning days in the minority. Cancer-ridden Senator Specter, no favorite of Blanca, will most likely call it quits. His seat will go blue. John McCain will probably crawl back into his hole and die (if he is not already dead by that point). Another blue state. Judd Gregg will join his fellow loser John Sununu visiting various towns in New Hampshire, looking for the location of the show Newhart. Add another blue one for the Dems.

We are going to be in the woods for a long time. If history is prologue, as Joe Biden says, we may be in the woods for a very long time. At the height of the Depression, Democrats controlled the Senate with 75 seats, with Republicans holding only 17. During the same period–1935-1937–the Democrats held 333 seats in the House, with the Republicans holding only 89. We are being told this Recession/Depression could be the worst since then. They will be burning Victor the Victory Elephant just to keep warm.

Blanca wants to eat. And there are only three ways she will be able to eat in this economy. I could become a liberal, like Arianna Huffington or Ed Schultz–although they were always social liberals to some extent. Or, I could go the way of whining little shits like Doc Thompson, who suddently has amnesia for his support of the Republicans and George W. Bush, and now calls himself a “conservative.”

But Blanca likes the third option, the one that made Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity so rich. Just bitch, bitch, bitch. For the next four to eight, ok, maybe 12 years, I will complain and complain about the Democrat at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. I will cry about the majorities in the Senate and the House, and I will give voice to the gun-toting, canned-food-hording, afraid-of-the-black-man minority building shotgun shacks and wearing tin foil hats. And I will be rich.

Sure, I don’t really care what I have to say. Neither does Sean. Neither does Rush. Actually, with Rush’s boy prostitutes and pill popping, and Sean’s secret S&M chamber he shares with Colmes–safety word Mizrahi!–neither one is a true conservative. But they are rich. And that is what Blanca wants to be.

So I whole-heartedly endorse Barack Obama for President of the United States of America. And to all those folks attending those fun Nuremburg rallies starring McCain and Palin, please don’t ruin this for me. Just stay at home, let the black guy win, and make the next decade or so easy street for Blanca DeBree.

Sarah Palin is John McCain’s red herring, or red reindeer. Caribou Barbie is being placed before the nation as an elaborate bait and switch.

After the convention, Sarah will withdraw from the race, citing a need to spend more time with her slutty daughter and son/grandchild. With the nomination process behind him, John McCain will be free to choose anyone he wants to be Vice President, namely BFF Joe Lieberman.

By choosing the worst possible candidate, McCain can easily choose someone like Lieberman. Knowing that McCain is a loose cannon and has selected an unqualified idiot the first go around, the Republicans will be just happy to have someone with experience and half a brain.

This bait and switch is one of the oldest games in politics. Bush did it with Harriet Miers. Reagan did it with Robert Bork. McCain even did it before with Tom Ridge. The formula is simple. Choose a person who is a cross between Pol Pot and Ron Jeremy and then go with someone less disasterous, although more controversial.

Not since Tom Eagleton in 1972 has a party been faced with the prospect of going into the general election with a different Vice Presidential candidate than they had approved. McGovern went on to lose the election in what was at that time the greatest electoral landslide in history.

McCain will have to make the switch shortly after the convention to give him the maximum amount of time before the election to sell Joe to the nation. It is more than risky. Just as Palin has peeled off moderates and independents, Lieberman will cost McCain the base. But the latest Gallup poll has shown that Palin will cost Gramps the election.

On the opposite side of the aisle and evolutionary tract, if such a thing existed, is John McCain with everyone’s favorite Überjude and E.T. lookalike, Joe Lieberman. McCain could not be reached for comment, as he was busy sitting in his rocking chair on his porch, yelling at the neighbor children who were in his petunia patch.

Lieberman, however, stated that there are Democrats crossing the aisle to join McCain. When asked what the term is for a McCain Democrats, Lieberman replied “retarded.”

This is just getting downright depressing. It is hopeless. Four years ago the Religious Right were clawing over each other to get to the polls to give us four more years of Commander Guy. Now, they are reduced to praying for inclement weather. With just 84 days left until the general election, only a miracle could get us out of this mess.

May I suggest to the dickweeds praying for a drizzle that they pray for McCain to drop dead? I mean Pat Robertson opened the door with the Supremes, so why not with Johnny Boy? If you need some motivation, I might even make my own video just like that yahoo made for Fucus on the Family.

When I first sat down to watch Recount, I thought I was in for a treat. I was looking forward to a story of how we overcame adversity, and the popular vote, to capture the Presidency in 2000. Instead I was entreated to a parade of characters like Laura Dern’s interpretation of Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris and long shots and bad impressions of the First Family, who looked and sounded more like petulant children, from whom a toy had been taken, instead of the wonderfully brilliant Commander Guy and Company we have come to know and love.

And it was just terrible how they decided to have such a left-wing slant to the story by relying so heavily on the facts. After all, everyone knows the facts have a well-known liberal bias.

This was obviously a film designed to foment anger at the Republican Party and to shift blame for the 2000 Election off of blind old Jews in Miami and onto innocent people like George W. Bush, Katherine Harris, and Joe Lieberman. Perhaps the most damaging scene in the movie is when Joe Lieberman is seen stabbing his fellow Democrats in the back. This is an obvious attempt to show how Lieberman was never really a Democrat and has always been a Republican at heart. I mean, what better way to discredit him and his endorsement of John McCain than to show his true colors in a docudrama on HBO?

Then again, he did endorse John McCain, which basically shows his true colors, right there.

They even chose to attack and undermine our current brilliant Decider subliminally. Near the end of the movie, one of the Bush operatives is seen reading a newspaper. One of the headline stories accounts how Joe Allbaugh has been named head of FEMA. It was as if HBO was trying to say “look, it does matter whom you vote for, so don’t fuck it up this time.” I mean, I knew that Hollywood was liberal, but I had no idea soft porn peddlers like HBO were.

By relying so heavily on facts, they obviously were never going to give the Republican point of view a fair shake. HBO chose to take the low road, paved with historical accuracies and factual statements to bring down our current Commander Guy, who is enjoying some of the highest approval ratings in history.

Shame on HBO for doing such a shoddy job, not employing spinsters like Karl Rove and Sean Hannity to make this a fair and balanced look at the 2000 Recount: fair and balanced, just like Fox News.

And for that I give it two thumbs up, my ass.

Another spy of mine in the Barack Obama campaign has hinted at a back door deal with Senator Clinton to place Hillary on his ticket as Vice President.

The Clinton campaign has been suffering in the past few weeks from fund raising problems, staffing issues, and delegate concerns. Several of Clinton’s super delegates have vowed to endorse McCain in protest. When informed that John McCain is running as a Republican, Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania vowed to endorse Lyndon Johnson.

Barack Obama lit one up and kicked back in celebration.

The pressure is now on John McCain to find a suitable running mate, one which will balance the ticket and woo voters away from the Dream Team Obama-Clinton ticket. My spy in the McCain camp indicates that since Condoleeza Rice is acting like a super bitch and not accepting his invitation to run, John McCain may offer the spot to Mr. Magic Underpants or Joe Lieberman. If Joe Lieberman accepts the slot, he is expected to become a Republican and complete his turn to the Dark Side of the Force.

My spy in the women’s bathroom on Capitol Hill verified with me that Nancy Pelosi is expected to bitch slap Joe in response.

My spy in the men’s bathroom on Capitol Hill told me that Senator Larry Craig is still trying to pick up ugly men for washroom sex.

The Blanca DeBree Blog is proud to have this exclusive. My spies indicate that all three campaigns will deny everything I have reported here until at least Monday in an effort to piss off and confuse the mainstream media.

Fox News will confirm everything I have stated on Bill O’Reilly tonight.

Reverse psychology was such a mainstay of the Dr. Phil’s of the 1970’s, you know Dr. Joyce Brothers, Dr. Spock (not the Vulcan, but the real doctor), and Dr. J. Actually, I am not sure about the last one. I remember there was something about Dr. J and lots and lots of sexual exploration. Oh, wait. I’m thinking of Wilt Chamberlain. You know, Blanca was born 15 years too late. I could have tapped me some of that. But I digress.

All the pundits on the right from Sean Hannity to Michael Savage are pushing Mitt Romney over the imminently more electable John McCain. Now I know, if you have read my blog, you know that I despise John McCain.

Oh, really?

Or could it be that I am taking part in the vast right wing conspiracy of reverse psychology? Well, I’ll never tell.

In order to understand reverse psychology, you have to understand games of skill, like chess, poker, or dwarf tossing. You see in order to force your opponent to pick B you make him believe you want him to choose A. He will then pick B just to piss you off. You get what you want, and your opponent feels all superior until he figures out how you screwed him over. Genius.

We all know John McCain is loved by Democrats and Independents alike. Just like Joe Lieberman. Show me one Democrat who doesn’t love Holy Joe. Times up. Put down the pencil. Damn it, I’m not kidding.

We know Mittens can’t possibly win. The cult thing, the magic underpants, for Christ’s sake, “Big Love!” I mean who do you think made sure “Big Love” was on the roster at HBO in 2008? Come on, you have to give the vast right wing some credit. I mean we do have Rupert Murdoch, don’t we?

And we know that Huckabee is too religious for anyone’s taste. I mean I love me so Huckster like nobody’s business. In fact, I would go down on the Huckster tonight if he asked me. Come on, Hucky, give Blanca a call. She’s horny and hasn’t had any since the first Bush administration.

So we are pushing McCain. We are selling McCain by telling everyone we can’t stand him. If you think we are going to sit at home or vote for Hillary instead of McCain, all you Independents and Democrats in the open primaries will hand him to us on a silver platter. Genius.

And all those nasty things being said about Barack Obama. That is just part of the game.

According to the National Journal, a fine publication I use to pick up my dog’s shit every morning, Barack Obama is the most liberal senator of 2007. Now maybe it’s just me, but I would think the openly Socialist Bernie Sanders would rank higher. And maybe it’s just a coincidence that same esteemed literary journal found John Kerry the most liberal senator of 2003. Things that make you go Hmmm.

And then there is that little screed in that most fair and balanced publication, The Washington Times. It seems Mr. Obama wants to decriminalize marijuana. My, how that just made you not want to vote for him, didn’t it. Lucky for you, you didn’t bother to take the fifteen seconds required to search for what it really means on the Internets. I mean lucky for us, your friendly Republican Party. It’s fun to play with words. It’s so Orwellian. I mean so Frank Luntz.

But my favorite subterfuge of this political season is my gal pal, Ann Coulter. She says she will support Hillary if John McCain wins. What does this do? Well, it gets all of your Independents and Democrats to support either John McCain or Hillary in your primary, thinking we will get a Democrat in the White House in 2008. My, you really are stupid, aren’t you. Then again, I guess that is why “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader” is such a hit on Fox.

Reverse psychology is fun. We get what we want, and you get screwed. I’m looking forward to four more years of the same old same old. It has made Blanca a very rich girl. A very rich and very lonely girl. Come on Huckster, call me!

And as an aside: I’m not exactly sure which ones Michael would sleep with. He seems to bat for the other team, if you get my drift. But those are just the rumors I’ve heard on the Internets and seen written on all those men’s rooms stalls I encountered when doing my investigative reports about Larry Craig. But I digress.

So I have come up with a handy questionnaire to see who should be Evil and who should be Good. I am going to start handing these things out so I know where to put everyone on my list.

1. Do you love Commander Guy?
2. Do you love Joe Lieberman, even though he’s a Jew, and makes you all uncomfortable with the whole Hanukkah thing?
3. Do you love the War on Terrah?
4. Do you think Ron Paul is on crack?
5. Do you think Mike Huckabee is the bestest choice to be the new Decider?
6. Do you think Mitt Romney not only is a bad Republican but is also going to Hell?
7. Do you think Rudy Giuliani is like a cute child, better seen and not heard?
8. Do you think the VD (Vice Decider) is a lovable, misunderstood guy?

If you answered yes to all the above questions, you are a Gooddoer. If you answered no to any of the questions, you are an Evildoer.

* Hillary Clinton will not get the Democratic nomination.
* Rudy Giuliani will not get the Republican nomination.
* There will be a walkout of delegates at the Republican National Convention because of the choice of nominee.
* A third party candidate will arise from this walkout.
* At least one athlete will die at the Summer Olympics due to either air pollution or lead poisoning.
* Mike Huckabee will shoot at least one reporter during a press conference.
* Fred Thompson will finally completely decompose, like those creepy scenes in Raiders of the Lost Ark or Poltergeist.
* Mike Huckabee will choose Joe Lieberman as his running mate.
* Joe Lieberman will renounce Judaism and become a Baptist.
* Bill O’Reilly will suffer a major aneurysm on the air while arguing with a secular progressive.
* Rupert Murdoch will die after the option on his contract with Mephistopheles is called.
* The country will finally realize what an amazing President Commander Guy is, and will repeal the 22nd Amendment.
* Pigs will fly. Literally. United Airlines will fly pigs coach class in an attempt to compete with Southwest Airlines. It will fail miserably.