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Posts Tagged ‘NPR’

June 25th, 2009 - 9:32 pm § in Entertainment, News, O-Bitch-uaries

Michael Jackson Dead

This is breaking news, so I am going to lift from the Huffington Post. LOS ANGELES — Michael Jackson, the sensationally gifted child star who rose to become the “King of Pop” and the biggest celebrity in the world only to fall from his throne in a freakish series of scandals, died Thur[...]

May 25th, 2009 - 5:17 pm § in News, Politics, Right

Mr. Cheney’s Super Magical Phantomorgasmical Torture Tour

That lovable shotgun-to-the-face ex-Vice President Richard Bruce Cheney is at it again, touring the country with his ragtag fleet of misfits, selling his tonics and potions on the teevee like the snake oil salesmen of days gone by. But this time he isn’t selling yellow cake uranium or “[...]

February 22nd, 2009 - 10:37 am § in News, Politics

Randi Rhodes Has Left the Building

Randi Rhodes of Air America fame is off the air, as a dispute between her and her employer, Nova M Radio, reached a climax earlier this month. Last week, Nova M Radio filed for bankruptcy, and another liberal network rose from the ashes like the Phoenix of mythology, after which the city in the [..[...]

October 30th, 2008 - 9:33 pm § in News, Politics, Right

Five

There are now just five days until the election, and things are getting desperate. Joe the Plumber ditched John McCain on the campaign trail and went rogue in his own way, declaring that a vote for Obama is a vote for the death of Israel. Priceless! Elizabeth Dole claims her opponent is godless. C[...]

October 28th, 2008 - 11:09 pm § in Homos, News, Politics

An Open Letter to the Mormon Church

Dear Mormons: I wanted to write you to thank you for all of your work on behalf of the sanctity of marriage. Your countless efforts to protect traditional marriage will garner for you a saint hood and a place in Heaven. That is if you weren’t Godless heathens destined for Hell. But what is a[...]

September 24th, 2008 - 8:14 pm § in News, Politics

Most Unpresidential

John McCain is showing some of the worst judgment since a bunch of Japanese admirals thought it would be a lark to bomb some American ships in Hawaii. The Maverick, the War Hero, the Straight Talk Express himself has suspended his campaign today and wants to “postpone” the debate on Frid[...]

July 3rd, 2008 - 4:06 pm § in News, Politics

Obama is Running for Bush’s Third Term

The Wall Street Journal, that paper of financial record and my daily source for the page three girl, topless save for strategically-placed Krugerrands, has written that Barack Obama is running for George W. Bush’s third term. Well, since John McCain has distanced himself from Commander Guy, I [...]

May 23rd, 2008 - 7:31 pm § in News, Politics

Ungrateful Hijos de Putas

I was listening to NPR on the way to my weekly Republican/KKK youth picnic. These affairs have become the singular highlight in my weeks, as our prospects for the fall elections appear dimmer by the day. It used to be I would listen to wonderful jingoistic music on my way to the cross [...][...]

May 17th, 2008 - 10:27 am § in News, Politics, Right

A Former(?) Pot Head Calling the Black Guy Black

I was watching the 60th Anniversary Extravaganza for Israel on the 700 Club, or as we born again Christians like to call it, “Countdown to the Messiah.” We are looking forward to the day when Jesus returns, and kicks all of those Christ-killing Jews out of the Promised Land. Until then[...]

January 18th, 2008 - 12:44 pm § in News

Calling the Kettle Black

I came across this gem today, while trolling through the blogosphere. This blogger wins the unprecedented Saying What Everyone on the Right is Thinking Glenn Beck Award. Kudos to you! [...]