When I was in college, I had a torrid love affair with a young woman named Hope. One day I came to her and told her that I had found Jesus and that I was leaving her. In reality, Jesus was our maid’s five-year-old son who had been missing all afternoon. Everyone [...][...]
Posts Tagged ‘Republicans’
Send in the Clones
Yesterday’s stinging defeat in the 23rd Congressional District in upstate New York, has forced Republicans to do a little introspection and examine the future course of the party. While political pundits and analysts believe the Republicans lost an historically Republican district because of i[...]
September 18th, 2009 - 8:38 pm § in Right
My Fair Lady
I have made it my personal mission to save as many Filipinos as a I can during my visit to the Pearl of the East. I’m not saving their immortal souls–they are already damned for being Catholic. I am saving their political souls. I am saving as many of our little brown brothers as I[...]
¡Vaya con dios, Mel!
Mel Martinez, the Republican Senator from Florida, and the sole Republican Hispanic Senator, announced that he will resign 17 months before his term ends. Martinez insisted that he is doing so of his own free will, and that there are no upcoming scandals compelling him to resign his post so early.[...]
July 18th, 2009 - 1:30 am § in Smut
Master Baiter
I was having lunch at Sylvia’s with my good friend Bill O’Reilly a while back. He was having the Mother Fucker Ice Tea, and I was having a nice salad with some corn bread, greens, and meatloaf. I asked Bill. “How do you generate so much traffic to your web site and get some m[...]
Sanford and Sin
Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina disappeared for five days this week, prompting an almost America’s Most Wanted style search for the leader of the Republican Governors Association. In fact it became so close to becoming a manhunt, that Mark Foley and Larry Craig almost volunteered to t[...]
An Open Letter to the People of California
Dear Californians: Now that we have seen how easy it is to pass an amendment to your state’s constitution, basically taking away rights guaranteed by other parts of the same document, I would like to offer my suggestion for some amendments I believe have been a long time coming. One particular[...]
May 20th, 2009 - 7:20 pm § in News
Democrat Socialist Party
The Republican National Committee voted today to re-brand the Democratic party as the Democrat Socialist Party. What better way to redefine an ailing party, than to change the name of your opposition. I must say, this is the most cost-effective idea I have seen coming out of the Grand Old Party in [...]
The New Improved Republican Party
Like Windows 7, like Match Game 76, like New Coke, the Republican Party is trying to rebrand itself to seem fresh and to lick its self-inflicted wounds from two years of mismanagement and contraction. Like New Coke, a reformulation will only cause the faithful to abandon the G.O.P. in droves, most l[...]
